My Dermatologist

Today I had a doctor's appointment with my dermatologist. I shall refer to her as "Dr. Charisma". I wait in the waiting room where all you do is wait. Everyone who works for Dr. Charisma has been there for a number of years and is extremely courteous to the patients.

There are several medical rooms in Dr. Charisma's office. After numerous visits to her offices, I have come to the conclusion that the more serious condition you have, the more instruments are crammed into the room you are asked to seat in. So, if you are hoping to have a quick visit and nothing is being cut off any part of your body that you have been accustomed to, you want to be in a medical room that is mostly empty. Well, this is the room I was assigned to today.

I hear Dr. Charisma laughing out loud as she comes into my medical room. I love that about her. She always finds something to laugh about no matter how busy her day is or how bad it gets. I always tell her she should do comedy stand-ups in her spare time. However, she can be serious when she has to.

Dr. Charisma always starts her visit by asking how my family is. Mostly, she asks how my three rambunctious children are. We spend a few minutes talking and laughing. She then asks the reason I am there. I tell her I need some creams to cure the puffiness and circles under my eyes that make me look tired. She suggests I should take a Claritin for my allergies to reduce puffiness under my eyes (my allergist also advised me the puffiness was due to allergies). Dr. Charisma then makes a quick exit out of the room. She reappears five minutes later. I know she just ran to her "medical closet" which is full of the most amazing creams and lotions I have ever seen. She reappears with a large bottle of potent vitamins for my breaking hair follicles, a large jar of anti-wrinkle face cream and tiny little vials of more anti-wrinkle face creams. Dr. Charisma then instructs me to mix the last two creams together and gently pat them under my eyes twice a day. I then visualize her over a steaming cauldron mixing her magical potions much like a female Merlin. I try to stop myself from laughing and thanked her for all of her help.

Although I had no mole removed on this visit, I did on my last visit. Dr. Charisma had placed her plastic eye goggles on her head, and held a long instrument which was attached to something that resembles my barbecue gas tank. I got very nervous. A nurse assisted her. I smelled something burning. After about a minute, I realized it's the smell of my sizzling flesh. I held my breath and counted to ten. I let out a scream. Dr. Charisma turned to her nurse and says, "Did that hurt you, that didn't hurt me?" This is her running joke whenever she removes a mole. A few days later I received the call from pathology that it was negative. Now, it's only the medical field that views an outcome which is good as "negative" and not the other way around. In one Seinfeld episode (avid fan), George gets a similar test result back. He assumes negative means bad and yells to whomever is around "Why! Why me, God! Why did this have to happen to me?" He then pauses and exclaims "Oh, negative means good. Wow, what a relief. I'm going to live."

Today, I was happy. I had a bag full of new creams from Dr. Charisma's medical arsenal in my fight against wrinkles, and I felt like someone cared.